Music and Me

When I was a little girl I dreamed of being able to play the piano in church or the organ. I would sit in Sacrament meeting in San Antonio and watch the sister at the organ and think nothing could be better than that. When we moved to Germany Marianne and I had a piano teacher named Frau Berner. The best description I can come up with for her is Brunhilde in a Wagnerian opera. I am not sure but I think she was bigger than my dad (a child's perspective so don't take my word for it). Anyway she would literally come in and take control of the household when she appeared on the doorstep. Marianne quickly surpassed me in her piano skills. I was tired of having the back of my head smacked and my hands slapped for missing the notes. I would practice - I didn't dare not too! I just never made the progress Marianne did. Finally I started taking violin. It seemed it was a much better fit for me. I learned to lead the music for Church and felt like I was contributing that way.

Jump forward many years. I decided to go back to school when all of our daughters were in school. I was going to major in muscial education. I took piano. Suddenly all of the problems with Frau Berner re-appeared. I was also diagnosed with a fairly new learning disability. I am dyscalculate. Like a person that is dyslexic - I have my numbers and symbols and flip. What happens with music is the notes flip, key signatures transpose - in other words I don't always see what you are seeing. Several times I would go in for sight reading and would play very nice tunes but they were not what were on the paper. This only happens when both hands are involved. When I am singing and only one note is involved - I don't seem to have the same problem. But you can't major in voice without a keyboard instrument - hence a change of majors.

Why this today? I was thinking about our young people that are facing different kinds of learning disabilities every day and the multitudes there are BUT the vast array of help there is. I ALWAYS failed math. I would work on it for hours and hours every night and got to school the next day and get an F. I would be accused of rushing through my homework. My teachers never believe that I had spent 3 and 4 hours on my homework when I had - so I quit doing my math homework. What was the point? They didn't believe me when I did do it so why do it? That attitude didn't hurt anyone but me. It took me a long time to see that though. I think that is why I championed my children and others when a teacher or adult didn't believe a child and I knew the child had worked very hard. I don't like it when someone automatically assumes someone is lying. At least give them the benefit of the doubt. You just might be surprised.