General Relief Society Broadcast

Last night was one of the most spiritual experiences I have had in a long time.  Last year I loved Pres. Uchtdorf's "Forget Me Not" talk.  It will apparently be one of those that will be important and memorable for quite some time.  The sad thing is I cannot remember one thing that Sister Beck said.  I always felt like I was being scolded by her.  I felt that whenever she spoke, I was not measuring up.  For some reason I never connected with the last General Relief Society Presidency.  I kept my opinions to myself until now but there are so many others that felt the same way.  I know of sisters that won't even attend ward Relief Society now, because they didn't like the General Relief Society Presidency.  I keep reminding them we have a new one and to give them a chance.  I hope they do.  For the first time in a long time, as our new General Relief Society Presidency stood and spoke, I related to something each of them said.  I didn't feel like I was being chastised but I felt like I was being taught principles of the gospel in a kind and loving way.  President Eyring's talk spoke of Visiting Teaching in a way that made you proud to be a Visiting Teacher and want to fulfill that stewardship.  It was a beautiful and wonderful meeting.  If you didn't make see the broadcast last night for whatever reason, please watch it soon.  What you will learn is that we are all daughters of our Heavenly Father and He loves us - no matter what.  My thoughts on this new Relief Society Presidency?  We are in for a softer, gentler way from what I listened to last night.  I respond better to that.  These are sisters I would want to be friends with.  The whole current presidency seems to be sisters that I will whole heartedly listen to and take counsel from.  People who know me well know I am pig headed and I have to like you to  listen to you.

Happy Birthday Julianna and Dena

Today is my niece's and sister-in-law's birthday.  I hope they both are having a wonderful day!

Happy Birthday, Marianne

Today is my sister, Marianne Dittmar's birthday.  The picture is from this summer with Carianne, when our family had a wonderful mini reunion.  Her daughter took some pictures of Marianne and me, together but I haven't seen them yet.  Our daughter's live very busy lives.  Hopefully Sara will have time to post them soon.  Wishing you wonderful birthday wishes, baby sister and everything you hope - for the next year.  Love you!

Stumbling Along

The last few days, I felt like everything I touch crumbles.  I have been working hard to get my body fit for a mission and no matter how hard I work it - it rebels against me and refuses to do what I want it to do.  There are so many days that my arthritis is so bad, I can barely walk.  I had hoped that by this point I would be having more good days than bad.  That isn't the case.  I faithfully do my exercises and eat correctly, yet have been stuck at the same weight for 2 months.  It is so frustrating.  I know it is because my body is tired of dieting.  I have abused it too long (most of my life).  Now when I am doing something very healthy - it doesn't quite want to believe me.

Today, I went to have some blood work done and it took 1 1/2 hours at the lab.  Fortunately I took some knitting.  I almost completed the project, while the poor lab tech tried to make heads or tails out of what was required.  It was work that needed to be done in order to proceed on our mission papers.  Yesterday I made my colonoscopy appointment and she said one date and wrote down another!  I would  have gone in a week too soon if I hadn't called back to clarify.  Imagine all that prep for nothing!

Nothing would make me happier than to fix things.  I would love to offer advice and know that what I would say would miraculously fix situations or problems.  I am learning that more often than not, what I say is more harmful than helpful.  Keeping my mouth shut and my opinions to myself is not in my nature but something I need to make part of me.

Happy birthday to Sara Warne - a most amazing sister-in-law.  We love you and are so glad you are ours!  Have an amazing year and take care of yourself!

Pondering

I just read one of my daughter's blogs about a service project that went kind of awry.  I had several projects that went that way when I was in Young Women's and the Relief Society.  Sometimes I wonder what parents are thinking - or are they thinking when when they drop their children off for several hours with 45 minutes worth of paraphernalia.  

This sent me off on another thought almost immediately.  Clyde and I have a family that Clyde home teaches that the husband has been in the hospital this last year more than he has been home.  We have tried hard to be there for both the wife and husband but have we done all that we could?  If something happened to Clyde, would my home teacher be there?  Who would I call?  It isn't that our home teacher isn't a great guy - it is that he is physically not here much but off with is wife visiting grandchildren.  Clyde works a job and I don't always have a car.  I feel like sometimes I need to be doing more but I am not sure how or what.  How much do I do before I become intrusive?  How much is too little?  I disable myself on occasion because I don't want to take over.  I have done too much of that in my life and too many people have resented me for that.  How do I find a happy medium?

On a fun note - a  brother spoke in church today that knew my father from San Antonio.  He grew up in San Antonio and lived in the other stake his Senior year of HS before leaving the area.  We had a great time talking about all the people we love.

Frustration

I keep thinking I need to write on my blog and I do have things to write about but then I get overwhelmed because there is so much going on my life right now.  The most frustrating thing in my life is seminary didn't quite work out the way I had envisioned.  I had thought I would have 2 for home study and 3 for early morning.  Now I have 1 for early morning and can't even find some of the ones  I had hoped to teach.  It will work out and be a wonderful year - it always does.  I am so excited about the students I have thus far.  They are incredibly bright and want to learn.  I guess I really can't ask for more than that.

I think I am going to start writing down my  own writings  and thoughts and inspirational thoughts from talks.  I have notebooks that are floating around and I need to put them somewhere.  Here is as good a place as any.  Hopefully I will be inspired to do that soon.  Well on with the purging!

Changes

As I went for my walk this morning, I pondered the fact that I do not like change.  And yet this year will be the last one here for us and we will walk into the unknown again.  I want to know where I will be and stay somewhere - forever.  It has been what I wanted since I was little girl.  When I was young, I dreamt of marrying someone and living in Ephraim or Manti, forever.  Obviously that didn't happen.  That fact that I got to live there for a few year is a miracle in my mind.  I want a light, sunny home - with bright rooms and I want to not move again after we settle in this time.  However, I am kind of excited about the idea of mission.  It is something we have talked about all of married life together and the time has finally come.  Where will go?  What will we be asked to do?  We will probably not leave the country because of my health issues BUT when I think of the possibilities just here in the states, I get excited.  We could go to a Native American Reservation, help serve in the Appalachian Mountains, serve in a temple, serve in a living museum like Far West, Nauvoo or Sharon, Vermont.  We could go be in a mission, a Church Education Mission or a Temple. So there is no knowing where or what we will be doing.  That kind of change I can handle.  I am collecting dresses and skirts because I know I will be wearing that kind of attire no matter where we go.  It is getting ready for the mission and packing to leave here that I dread.  It already seems like too much work and we have just barely started.

The Quirks of a Blog

About 2 years ago, I could no longer blog with pictures and about half the time I couldn't even post a blog.  I talked to one of my seminary students that has always been a computer geek and he said  to start going through Safari or Google Chrome whenever I wanted to blog.  It is a pain but since that time I have had few problems with my blog.  I give out this suggestion -  that most of my friends and family probably already know - because maybe it will save someone grief.

What's in a Name?

I have been pondering names lately for some reason.  Some people love their names - others go to great lengths not to be called by their birth name - because they despise it for one reason or another.  I have always liked my name but have to admit if someone called me Rebecca or Rebecca Lou - I immediately wondered what I had done wrong.  That is the sad thing about a full name that is only used when you are in trouble.  Lately I have had to be 'Rebecca' more and more and it is just easier to be.  I don't cringe when I hear it now - which is a good thing because it really is a beautiful name.

When we lived in Ephraim, Utah - there was a young man named Joseph.  He refused to be called anything else.  When he was really little  - people shortened his name - even down to just calling him 'J'.  But when he could read - he started reading the scriptures and decided the name Joseph was a wonderful and noble name and refused to be called anything else after that.  Everyone honored that request.

My husband is Clyde Lester Bailey, III.  His father was always called Bill but his grandfather was called Clyde to his family and very close friends.  Our oldest daughter is named Carianne.  She is literally named after almost every woman in the family.  My paternal grandmother's name was Carrie Myrl.  My maternal grandmother's name was Sarah Ann.  My mother's name was Carolyn and Clyde's step-mother's name is Anne.  My sister's name is Marianne.  We decided to combine the name like my sister's and in the meantime we took care of honoring special women in our lives.

Heather has my middle name.  That means she is named after my Aunt Lou (Lula Brugger Carson) and my mother's father LuDeal.

Heidi is name for a place and a time.  She is named Heidi because Clyde and I met in Heidelberg in December and she was born in December.  Also because she is a December birthday her middle name is Noel.  That makes Christmas fun because whenever we find anything with Noel on it - it automatically goes to Heidi.  

Pam was supposed to be Diana and apparently Jenny Rebecca.  The whole pregnancy I thought her name was going to be Diana Eloie.  I knew she was going to born right around a very close friend Eloie Martin's birthday (19 January) and I thought that would be a special name for her.  When I delivered her, I looked at her and realized her name was Pamela.  Clyde said, "Okay," but has since forgotten all of that.  He says I wrote it down on the birth certificate without his knowledge.  Granted when I brought it up was just after I had delivered and he would have given me the moon at that point, so it wasn't completely fair of me not to mention it again.  Pamela means 'all honey or golden' and that fits our Pam on so many levels.  

As I have watched my daughter's  and son-in law's go through the naming process, I have been tickled.  I love my grandchildren and I love their names.  I am glad they have taken the naming of their children seriously and we don't have names like some of the kids my daughter's went to school with.